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In fact one night I was almost caught by my husband as I cried out. I decided to answer Roberts messages, I was never so ashamed of anything in my life as what I needed to tell him, how would he react to the truth. Would he hate me forever, never to speak to me again. Would he understand the pain I was in, not only from having to live this lie I had told, but to live the life I lived. The only way to find out was to ask him. I sent a instant message to Robert the next time I saw him online.’Robert, we need to talk. Can you call me?’ I asked. ‘Sure baby, when?’ ‘Right now, I’m alone at home and I really need to tell you something and I can only do it by phone, not on this.’ I was crying as I wrote it. ‘Oh, OK.’ I could see the questions in his answer, now if I only had the answers. The phone rang, I was paralyzed with fear as it rang and rang, too afraid to answer it I let it ring. Finally it stopped, my eyes were blinded by my tears, my chest heaved as I gulped air trying to catch. I didn't wheeze when Iran and I often enjoyed playing basketball or softball at the localpark. Only in New York can you show up to a park and get caught up in apickup game of softball. Think about it, 18 to 20 kid need to be therein order to play and we played nearly every day.The event starts off with softball, but it wasn't at the local park. Atmy school, there was always a yearly game of softball between theteachers and the students, kind of an annual event or ritual. I decidedthat I would take my shot at being on the student team as that would bemy final year in the school.Counting my odds, I figured my best bet would be to play catcher.Everyone wanted the glamor positions; shortstop, third base, pitcher,centerfield. I had no problems being behind the plate and rather enjoyednot worrying about making a mistake in the field and getting cut, eventhough I had a pretty good glove at the time.Things started with a comment. They often do. I was standing aroundbefore batting started and.
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